If Something Big Went Missing

playing guitar today a high fourth plus a halfstep below, 'rainbow' sound close to the bridge, I was thinking, oh, if I lost synthesizers, if suddenly it was a world where they hadn't existed, maybe I would sometimes be playing like this, trying to find the sounds again. but clarinets are lost to me, mostly. serpents, groupings-- orchestras.. this seems to clarify something about synthesizer. maybe that the playing isn't looking for new things, but looking back to things we forgot we forgot.
if a language was missing, if Singhala was, would I be looking here and there to find similar feelings? where would I even look? [Indonesian hakuru..]
when I wrote before about exiles perhaps unconsciously enjoying foods that have some minor relation to tastes they've lost, I was thinking of my parents

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